control freak

i don't know what it is, but i have the hardest time with not being in control. i didn't always used to be like this, don't get me wrong, i love organization, but i never used to, my room was a mess, under my bed...i don't even want to talk about that. but now, i go nuts when my house is out of order, and crazier still when my child isn't in a "controlled" environment.

we went to the zoo today, it was wonderful and quite enjoyable until capri decided she wanted out of her stroller...'i out' she said over and over. finally i gave in and auntie laura pushed the stroller while i chased the 2 year old. it wasn't until about 15 minutes of this that i looked at laura and said, 'i never knew how much of a control freak i am.' laura just looked at me and laughed, apparently she knew.

it is amazing to me that after two years of watching GOD unfold this beautiful package that is 'parenthood,' i am still trying to grab it back from HIM. i need to let go and allow HIM to take capri in HIS arms. HE is guiding her every step, not me.


Kimberly said...

I don't know too many mothers who are completely passive when their two year olds want out of the stroller to roam and do whatever they want, especially at a crazy place like a zoo! So don't think that was an abnormal reaction to your situation. And always remember that though God does have Capri in His hands, He has given you and Paul the awesome responsibility to parent her, through the good times and the bad. Kids are incredibly resilient. Even when I feel like I'm completely botching my "job" as "Mom", the girls will throw their arms around me and say I love you Mom, you're the best Mom in the world, you're the best Mom I ever had! (Which I don't quite understand that last part because well I'm the only Mom they've ever had!) But the point is even through the discipline, your kids are going to love you no matter what!

Kimberly said...

BTW - Where's a picture of Little Miss Independent at the zoo? We live for these pictures you know! =}

Capri Linay said...

zoo pictures to follow...i was too busy chasing said two year old...auntie laura is going to email me some later since she brought her camera. i do have a picture from my cell phone that i will be attaching later...love ya